His mercies are new every morning

I've been in a real funky mood about this process lately. I know it's ugly; I know if anyone has the right to be in a funky mood: it isn't me. How must those 147,000,000 orphans feel daily? I have 2 beautiful children, a wonderful husband who is my partner in this life, a house, 2 cars, and the many conveniences we have as Americans. I didn't struggle with infertility like so many of my friends have. We have wonderful extended families and a load of friends who bring so much joy to our lives. I've been blessed and the Glory be to God! The last referral we had was the file of a little girl and her situation broke my heart. There was a lot going on with her that I will not share here, but it got me down; it took the wind out of my sails.

I finally decided to give it to God. He has called us to this. He has promised He'd be with us the whole way, but why do I feel like I am swimming upstream? Why is it so hard? Why do I feel like I'm doing it alone? I've been praying Lamentations 3:22-23 lately over this. I love these verses: "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Praise God His mercies are new every morning. I sure need them every morning.

Wednesday night I went to bed discouraged. I prayed that God show me a sign that He has this under control. I asked Him to show me that doing this with Him isn't impossible, but it is possible only with Him. I told Him that I can't be in control of this, that I needed Him to work it out. Fast forward to Thursday, I was working at the church pulling supplies for Sunday morning children's ministry with Jessica (who is also adopting a baby... check out her blog here) and Jacy and I heard my phone buzzing with e-mails. I have 3 e-mail addresses forwarded to my blackberry, so I didn't think anything of it. After lunch, I decided I would check those from my phone before heading home and I saw the words I "Waiting Children-New Referrals". Oh, Praise You, Jesus! I drove home, flew through my door and plopped down in front of the computer to open my e-mails as quickly as I could. There were 5 new children: 2 of them girls that we have a few questions about. We are requesting another file of a little girl. We want to take it one at a time, so we decided to start with the one that we had the fewest questions about.

TALK ABOUT AN ANSWER TO PRAYER! I am not going to get my hopes up. I am not going to start picking out baby names or decorating a room, but I am encouraged that God is faithful, God is in control and that God wants us to bring home a child that does not have a mommy and a daddy. Jesus said: "I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!'

Please continue to pray for us as we pursue this adoption. God is faithful and we're praising Him that His mercies are new every morning!

~paula

P.S. I couldn't resist sharing this pic. of my boys "Working Out" the other night. They must be getting buff for the arrival of their sister!