I woke up at 5AM this morning wondering what was going on with Zoe's EP. Why haven't we heard anything? You see, this roller-coaster we are on is like a game...a game of Hurry up and wait, Hurry up and wait. Well, I've been frustrated that I'm the only one who seems to hurry up and I'm doing a lot of waiting too. I know no government worker here in the US or in Korea is in a hurry for my baby to get home. I (and Michael and the boys) have a specific interest in Zoe coming home. I know our friends and family do too, but it doesn't effect anyone else other than us. But then I thought... God gets it. He knows. He knows how frustrating this is and I was reminded of how frustrated He must be when we go our own way and we don't just come home. I was reminded that while we were once so interested in our own sin that we chose not to see Him, but He patiently waited. He knows the pain of the wait for His children to come to Him. He has a specific interest in each one of His children. He knows the pain. The waiting. The frustration.
I also needed the reminder that God is in control. He didn't look away. He did not fall asleep at the wheel. Do I REALLY trust that He knows what is best? Do I REALLY trust Him with my life? Do I REALLY trust Him with the life of my children? Do I REALLY trust Him to work ALL THINGS for my good? Do I need to obsess over something He's already handling? Especially this. Adoption. It's at the center of God's heart. He adopted us. He has this. And I - I pray for peace for the rest of this journey. Knowing God is in control. Not me (as much as I might try...I'm just spinning my wheels).
God, give me and our other adoption friends peace for this journey. I trust you and I know at whatever time you choose to deliver Zoe safely into my arms is all part of your perfect plan. You know what's best. Help me show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control while I'm waiting. Not of my own strength, but Yours.
~paula
I have to remind myself many times that I can't expect other people to know or feel the same stress that our own little family does about the wait and whole process. But thank goodness for other people going through this whole process and its so cool that we are all so happy for each others progress!! Just to let you know that even though I do not comment alot, I have been following along, I hope your Zoe comes home soon, but more importantly, in God's perfect time:)
ReplyDeleteOh my...I feel like I was reading my own thoughts! You know EXACTLY how I feel!! This is so tiring and frustrating!! I do pray for peace during this time of waiting and pray that the Lord will grant you peace as you wait too. These are a couple of verses that I have read time and time again in the midst of our "waiting." I hope they are encouraging to you as well-
ReplyDeletePsalm 37:7
Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Hope to hear good news soon!
amy
AMEN sister! Our preacher caught us before we left after church on Sunday and asked how things are going with the adoption. (He follows my blog.) He knows I'm tired of waiting, but I had a moment of "clarity" and said, "God's timing, it's in his hands." He smiled a big smile and said, amen. Love your post here Paula, so true of us!
ReplyDelete