Anticipation

I love this time of year. I love the anticipation of it all. I have to admit, I always find myself thinking of Mary during the Christmas season. I wonder what that young woman must've been feeling. Every emotion from fear to excitement and everything in between must've been racing through the mind of the woman who would give birth to the Savior. I can't even fathom that, but as a mom, I feel like I have a connection with Mary.

I'm feeling more anticipation this year than any year before. Not only am I looking forward to spending another Christmas with my incredible boys, I am anticipating that we will have a new little one in the house on Christmas morning too. As we are purchasing the last few Christmas gifts and preparing to travel to the other side of the planet to bring home our baby girl at last, I can't help but be filled with every kind of emotion. I can't really describe it as anything I've ever experienced.

We've begun packing bags, packing up gifts for those who have taken care of our girl and preparing for the boys to stay with family while Michael and I are gone. Yet, sometimes I find myself sitting in Zoe's room in tears praying that God deliver her safely into my arms soon. Thanking God for the gift of a daughter and for sustaining us in this journey, I find myself at a loss for words. (which is rare, I know.)

This has been a wild roller-coaster of a journey. I am forever changed by it. I've always been a "to do list" kind of person. I see what needs to be done, and I do it. This whole time, I've been checking things off the list, but as crazy as it seems sometimes, there is a CHILD, a BABY at the end of this journey. There were days where it seemed surreal. Actually, it always seems a little surreal. I can't describe the feeling(s), but there are days where this journey seems like a dream, but it's not. It's real. And we are REALLY at the finish line. It's time to bring our girl home. It's time to have her in our arms forever. And I am filled with anticipation.

~Paula

P.S. the picture is a hand-made, hand-painted ornament from my sweet adoptive-mommy friend, Leah who is waiting for her sweet Aiden to come home. We are taking Aiden a care package from his family for his birthday and Christmas. Praying for Aiden to come home soon!